no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize