i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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