Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
