I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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