why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
