I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
