Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
