made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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