...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
