Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
