I skipped work to stalk him.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize