The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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