I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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