Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
