Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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