and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
