What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
