You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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