Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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