Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
