whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
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We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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