I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
