your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize