the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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