I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
