i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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