Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
you never un-have a 4some
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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