I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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