This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So squirting runs in the family.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
