so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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