mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
