I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize