I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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