nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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