i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
