I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm too high and old for this...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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