I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
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I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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