connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
