Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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