is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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