OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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