from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We need to rekindle our bromance
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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