thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
