This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
