I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
