She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize