hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
