Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
