The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so let's talk penis.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
