just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
