I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
