Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is not my ceiling
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
