A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Randomize