There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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