yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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