I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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