I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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