it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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