Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
