it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize