put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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