I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
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He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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