I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
